Part 1: Hypothetically speaking...
Let's pretend you are a professional musician. These first
few questions deal with situations and dilemmas that every musician must face
at some point in his/her career. Do you have what it takes?
OK, let's begin. To be a professional musician, you gotta practice.
So you'd better have a good excuse when you show up late:
"Too busy having sex with groupies."
"Drove my car into a swimming pool."
"Surfin' the net for good deals on patch cables."
"Helping a buddy move to Fresno."
All that rehearsing has paid off! You have a gig tonight at 10:00 pm. At what
time do you show up to the venue?
7:30: "Gotta help set up!"
8:30: "Gotta get a couple of drinks before the show!"
9:30: "Plenty of time to flirt with that chick/dude at the bar..."
10:30: "Hello, Cleveland!"
Music is a thirsty business. What would you order at the
bar before you start your set?
"Pour me a pint of Guinness, mate."
"A bottle of anything, and a glazed donut... to go!"
"Everclear, and a match."
"A tall cool glass of milk, please."
What is the last thing you would do before stepping on stage?
Check to make sure your hair looks good.
Check to make sure your mullet looks good.
Smash some furniture with your head.
Have another pint of Guinness.
In the middle of the show, you realize you've played a wrong note. What would you do?
Scowl at the rest of the band and yell "Bollocks!"
Ignore it, maybe no one will notice.
Have another drink, maybe you won't notice.
Play it again: once, it's a mistake; twice, it's jazz.
You have just finished your last song of the night. What is the
audience throwing at you?
women's underwear
recording contracts
rotten tomatoes
books on basic musicianship
Very good, you're halfway done... On to part 2!
